I've been getting mixed messages from the Fates lately. The laptop crash (still causing problems), an ADSL modem failure, Her Majesties Customs detaining and destroying my hard-sourced monochrome ink-set and a new camera that has now been on back order for two weeks all seem to indicate that maybe I should give this lark up.

Then on Monday I get some news which I still can't get my head around.

[link]

I've known Kerry since I was 6 years old and it's safe to say she was the childhood sweetheart I never had. Since our teens contact has gotten more and more sporadic, a combination of distance and each of us maturing into our own lives. I was never too bothered by this because I always knew that some day I would get off my arse and go see her again.

That's a kick in the balls for apathy right there.

If there's one thing to focus your mind on getting lifes priorties right it's the senseless, violent loss of someone who had theirs spot-on. I am ashamed at myself for every time I let my head drop and hide myself away. I am ashamed that I would rather do nothing than something. But mostly I am ashamed about the number of people I have allowed to pass through my life and out the other side.

Rest In Peace Kerry, I hope I can be a better friend to others than I was to you.